first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
