I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Screwed.edu
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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