This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
