Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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