Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh god it's open bar.
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