I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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