Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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