My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
