Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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