a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
only you would photoshop your dick
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
