He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
