Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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