Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
