Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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