Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
