So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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