I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
