i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
