i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
