Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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