Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
