Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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