I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Threesome in a minivan. New low
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
