It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
