is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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