i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
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