I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
this is an emotional support booty call
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
