All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
