I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
