I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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