haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You made out with two different species that night
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
