I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
