Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
