that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
