They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You don't make any sense
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