dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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