Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is it because I queefed?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
