My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
