Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The best revenge is premature balding
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
