Yo dont text me then not text me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
