they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
