I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
