I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
