Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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