I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When did angry sex become our thing?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
