Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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