I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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