WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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