the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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