it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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