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i barfeds in our rink
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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