The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
