Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
