Im at strip club and am horny
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Randomize
