counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
